Paint Out Loud...the story behind the art
Making Art is personal, and to create something that is truly satisfying the artist must find their own voice.
What the heck does that mean? Something I have fought with for years - making something that the viewer will like (and purchase) versus making something that really feels to me that it comes from me. It is challenging to me to hear myself, my inner self, over all the voices in my head - and I am sure I am not the only one that enjoys that pat on the back.
So how do I know when I am painting something that comes from inside me? How do I know when I have shut out all the voices that are telling me about the other art that is successful and so I need to create a version of that? Let me know when you have the answer to that, will you?
The best answer I have come up with is pretty new for me, and it comes to me as a result of painting consistently over the past 3 years. As I worked and worked on my version of "successful" art, one day I had a body experience. Like the way your body reacts when it is in danger. In the middle of a painting, I actually could not go any further and I felt like I wanted to run away from what I was doing.
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Not a good time for this either, because I have a big solo show coming up in October. I need to be producing. But my body said NO! And I could not make myself paint.
So for the past 2 months I have been looking at lots of things and I have been experimenting, and I took the pressure off of myself.
I started painting again a week ago. And the way I know I am on the right path is because when I was working on this new painting, my heart lifted. I felt energetic and I felt satisfied and I felt good.
Not to say that a masterpiece was created - no...but I had fun, and I used colors and marks and brushstrokes that really felt like me.
I am accepting myself and the way I like to paint. This is my voice. It is not philosophical, there is not a great message to the world, but it feels right to me. And that is really all I have and all I can do. I cannot know what would make you happy - what would make you love my paintings (and buy a painting).
So, I'm going for it. I don't think it will be easy - because those voices in my head can get really loud. So we'll see.